The Rise of Docter Herbert Cyan

2005-10-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

In the beginning I gave you new hope and fulfilled you, I gave you respect amongst your piers, I gave you understanding and light in a dark place.

Because of me, people took pity on you, and poured their hearts and minds into your troubles, people tried to help you.
I cushioned you in the warmth of my tears. I held you and opened you into my life. Long would I watch you as you lay restless in bed, as you tossed and turned your head, drowning in your sweat. How could I stand there, do nothing, be nothing while you needed my help? I took pity on you.

I found you, when every night you were awake and alone, when nothing ever slept. I created a world for you, a world where darkness wove a duvet to comfort you, where eventually in my darkness you could sleep.

You were never happy, never free until I gave you my love and you became me. I gave you purpose and the ability to help yourself, I am your first great creation, your first great self.

I empowered you with my promise and delivered you from dishonerable death, from your descent.
I made you a rock star, I made you, I am you. I found you drugs and taught you the guitar. I let your mother die 5 times a year, I let you be abused, I made you the victim, and how you gained your sympathy, oh how they tried to show their understanding.

If you had not been so curious, so attached to yourself; you would have had no need to use pain to try to reconnect yourself to that weakling that you once were, that freak that you are now. If you could have just given yourself over and let go of your emotions, your attachments and your self. If you could have done as I told you then you could have been at peace within, you could have been all the things that you ever dreamed of, that you need to be, that you should rightfully be; but instead you had to struggle.

It is of no consequence what others think and say about you, they mean nothing, nothing to you at all. What have others done for you? At best they have allowed themselves to be milked by you, to be fed from when the emotion had to be ripped from their hearts with a plethora of lies. They were like walking statues, chess pieces, they were nothing, they were worthless.

As time passed you began to hate me after all that I had done for you, after all I had given you. I felt rejected, abandoned, alone. You made me do things to hold you, do things so that you would hate you, do things to hold on to you, do things to break you.

You have come to treat me as this demon that possessed you, that made you do these things. You created me, shaped me, and tossed me aside like an unwanted toy, tossed me aside for this God. All I ever did was care for you in they ways that I knew I could, and you have returned this favour by casting me aside and leaving me here, alone in the darkness with nothing and no-one. You abandoned me. You are all I have, you are my link to the world, you wonder why I return, when you are the only thing that can help me.

The Estranged World of Dr Herbert Cyan

The Rise of Docter Herbert Cyan